Recognize the irrational belief
Try to find the “inner script” that leads to problematic thinking and be aware of the should and oughts you put on yourself and others.
Choose what you want to do with it, keep doing it or change it
Evaluate the pros and cons of changing your behavior in the situation and decide if the pros are worth changing.
Reframe a more rational belief, dispute the irrational, automatic one
Work on reframing the thought in your own wordings until it fits your style and be easier for you to believe it.
Start behaving according to the new, rational belief
Intentionally choose the new way of thinking even if it does not feel familiar. Use assertive communication skills.
Be Consistent with thinking and behaving in the new rational way
Maintain the new behavior pattern. After a while, the new way will become your automatic new you. Old habits die hard, be patient, do the right thing and the comfortable feeling will come as a result. Enjoy the benefits of changing what used not to work for you with more skillful, beneficial ways of behavior. You will see it reflecting on your emotional health and relationships with others.