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Seeking Approval of Others

Over-preoccupied with what people are thinking about you and trying to control their perception of you.

Approval of others is the very oxygen that keeps you alive, feeling bad when people think badly of you.

Reliance on approval seeking leaves you open to abuse. Vulnerable to being manipulated by others, people pick up that your anxious to please them, everybody around you have to be ok.

I can get in the way to be effective and objective in a situation. Sometimes the needs of the situation far exceed the needs of instant gratification. If we live only according to what is expected of us we cease to live and be real. 

How to Stop Worrying About What Others Think

Practice saying what you think and let the consequences sort themselves out. Most of the time no one is offended and as long as you do not hurt others, if they get upset that is because your behavior lets them realize they have less power over you.

Practice pleasing yourself, seeking the approval of others makes you feel vulnerable and prey to their opinion. This steals the fun, creativity and authenticity of life. Make a point of doing stuff just because purely you want to. This is not being selfish, it is letting others know about your own taste, ideas and enthusiasms.

Remember you cannot control what others think, anyway anxiously seeking approval is an attempt to gain and keep a sense of control. If we can just make people happy by being what we imagine they want us to be, then we won’t be rejected. Common assumption, however, does it work? Trying to be all things to all people can make us less appreciated (people are drawn to those with an aura of confidence).

Rememer that sometimes doing the right thing means appearing not to. Focus on what you believe to be right in situations rather than what peer pressure may lead you to do. Be your own person.

Don’t assume people make black or white assessment of you. It is all about them not you.

Do not play the game of disapproval. Some people use disapproval as a weapon. Focus on what you believe, want and think. If they disapprove, call them out onit. Ask them what their problem is.

You have every right to disapprove of their disapproval.

When you let people disapprove of you if they want and stop worrying, a whole new world of personal possibilities opens before you.

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