Many individuals find it hard to say “NO” or to accept someone saying “NO” to them without experiencing negative emotions. Saying “NO” can be thought of as a way of taking care of oneself, not to make another individual feel rejected, or to experience feelings of guilt if you are the individual saying “NO”.
To Overcome Guilt in Saying “NO”
Ask yourself the following questions:
- Ask for more information to clarify what all the facts are.
- Practice saying, No.
- Is the request reasonable?
- Is it your responsibility to attend to the matter or not?
- Quit apologizing, if it is something that you do not or cannot do.
Therefore, quit saying, “I’m sorry, but…..”
Review for Yourself The Consequences Of Saying “Yes”
- End up angry with yourself for doing something you don’t want to do.
- Gets in the way or distracts from things you want to do.
- Resentment begins to develop and build up.
- Because you are doing something that you don’t want to do, but aren’t being honest, it leads to a lack of communication or a dishonest one.
- When you say yes to every request, you end up saying no to your needs.
Accepting “NO” for An Answer
Each time you are faced with someone saying “NO” to you, think to yourself “I am not being rejected as an individual, it is my request that is being rejected”. Rejection comes up emotionally because your need of approval is strong. You view accepting your request as an acceptance and approval of you. It is not. Remember, assertive communication does not mean getting what you want but having honest communication which leads to respectful relationships.